Sensuous in Satin

Reflections on Transgender life

Are you crossdressing or seriously wanting to be a woman?

Posted by Adrian • Sunday, July 3. 2011 • Category: Being transgender
The following comment was posted in response to someone who asked:
Are you crossdressing or seriously wanting to be a woman?

Now I know, like Shakespeare, you can read too much into the words used on forums...
but my first thoughts were that this was another case of mistaking something we do "crossdress" with something that reflects our inner gender (wanting to be a woman).

Crossdressing is defined by Wikkipedia as
the wearing of clothing and other accoutrement commonly associated with a gender within a particular society that is seen as different than the one usually presented by the dresser.

So it is by definition "part time".

As we know women crossdress freely, and many men like wearing female clothing just because of its fabric and style.
But many people's gender journey starts with crossdressing, and at some stage, even if one yearns to be a woman, occasional crossdressing may be the only manifestation of it.
So it appears that crossdressing and a journey to be a woman, are far from being mutually exclusive and we

"can be crossdressing AND seriously wanting to be a woman!!"

Then, as others have observed before in this thread, the original question doesn't leave room for any middle ground.

I have become aware that there are many members of our community who don't desire to be anything other than themselves. To those people applying a label like man or woman to who they are is meaningless, and often insulting.
Life just isn't that simple!
Depending where they are on the gender spectrum, these people may not consider themselves to be crossdressing and their destination doesn't have a simple label like "woman".
So that means we

"can also be NEITHER crossdressing nor seriously wanting to be a woman!"

As I said, 6 years is a long time in exploring your gender identity and developing, and I know I might answer this question differently in another 6 years time.
But, for now, I think I would find it is difficult to apply the label "crossdressing" to my presentation.
Because what I wear is consistent (virtually all my clothes carry a women's size tag) and
Because the image I present 24/7 is not completely "male" or "female".

So my clothes reflect correctly the fact in my gender I seek to be neither "man" nor "woman".....just me.

That means my vote falls for "NEITHER crossdressing nor seriously wanting to be a woman" which sadly wasn't one of the options given!

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