Sensuous in Satin

Reflections on Transgender life

Did I tell you about Me?

Posted by Adrian • Tuesday, September 18. 2012 • Category: Being transgender
I guess you know the feeling?

Something is obvious to everyone, it's embarrassing to others, but yet no one says anything about it?

Well I have something obvious and embarrassing that I think we should talk about in these forums.

On several occasions I have told partners and others that I would post about "this matter" on their behalf. But I always chicken out because, as the bearer of bad news, I don't want to be shot (or pick up a shocking hit to my reputation!).

So please accept that what I'm about to say is not just my own personal grudge or obsession. It appears to be widely observed, obvious and to many others, acutely embarassing.

What am I referring to?

Well imagine you sit down next to a total stranger in a restaurant and are looking forward to having a pleasant evening's conversation. But instead all the stranger can talk about is themselves! They provide you with an unwanted and unsolicited description of their life, possibly their medical history, and even details of surgery. Worse still, at every attempt to change the subject to something of mutual interest they keep returning to their pet subject - "Me".

Well it appears that many gender diverse people are guilty of this sort of egocentric behaviour.

Somewhere in the journey from gender ignorance to gender awareness many of us become so self absorbed with our own lives that we cannot relate effectively to others in society. It seems that we are so self centered we have no receptors open to the needs and interests of others.

It happens at social events (and I have had many complaints). But you can also see the same thing happening in our forums. How many times does the topic seem less important to the poster than sharing their latest life experiences with the group. Thankfully this has been less of an issue since we provided members with Blogs - which by definition are always just about "Me". But it happens - we sometimes just can't help ourselves it seems.

Of course we feel we have an excuse. Some of us are making momentous steps in understanding ourselves, our past, and our future. And we just want to share our enlightenment with everyone... and anybody... whenever we can. In the right context, sharing our experiences can be a great help to others. But we have to remain aware of when and where is the right time to talk about "Me".

Maybe we can lay the blame on the rise of vacuous status updates on social media like Facebook. When Facebook asks you to tell the world about yourself every day why ask if the world is actually interested? With the ability to tell everyone about ourselves as often as we want we have perhaps become desensitised to what others want to hear.

At the start of our journey, our love of photographs often verges on the narcissistic. But all that photography has a funny side to it, and hardly seems to impact on the attitudes of others towards us.

But as we move from fun nights out to serious re-alignment in society an inability to talk about anything other than "Me" is insidious. It has far reaching implications on our acceptance by, and re-integration in, society.

So did you know the feeling?
Is the observation of others correct?

I think it is!

I would suggest we need to raise our consciousness of egocentricity if we are to integrate with and seek the acceptance of society at large.

Let's not talk about "Me".